2000 Miles - The Pretenders
It started off two days before Christmas. For me it might as well have been Christmas Eve for the next day I was scheduled to board a plane that would take me back to where I left the only family I know. My children. Despite the cost, they were determined that I would make the trip back to city that thinks it is the centre of the universe. Toronto isn't even the centre of Canada. Among the provinces, Thunder Bay, Ontario takes that geographical honour. :p
Once I landed in Toronto, I might be spending some time people watching and wandering the vast expanse of Pearson International Airport waiting for someone to be able to pick me up. Some would still be sleeping others working. It was all good. I would have things at the ready to pass the time. Last minute Christmas shopping at the airport is not one of the choices of activities. So everything had to be done before I left. Going to the drug store was one of those chores.
I talked with the pharmacist when I re-filled my prescription and explained the bizarre symptoms that I believe are a side effect of the medicine. I don't react to medication in the "normal" way. Pain in the middle of both feet so intense I could barely walk and a burning sensation in one finger is how I reacted to a form of antibiotics. The pharmacist and I laughed as he had pulled out his bible of drug reactions and knew he would find nothing like that listed.
So, when it started feeling like something was crawling in my ears followed by a pressure build up that lasted 30-45 seconds before subsiding I blamed the medicine I had recently started taking. I had the same reaction on a previous medication and no one believed that it could be so. When I gave him the history, this pharmacist bucked the Ontario doctors beliefs and said, switch meds, it won't go away on its' own. Then he shelved his own reference bible.
It wasn't a good time for me the last time that I was taking this family of medication and with the symptoms ignored I flew and by the time I finally landed back home, I was suffering terrible ear pain. I finally ended up insisting on seeing an ear, nose and throat specialist who fixed me right up. He said there was no need to suffer and if it happened again I could call him direct and he would take care of the problem immediately. My problem is I don't remember what he did or exactly what my major symptoms had escalated to. I do however remember his kindness and understanding! Believing when none of the other many professionals I was seeing didn't.
Christmas All The Time - Tom Cochrane
And so it was that I found myself in the pharmaceutical aisle a little closer to home, I was trying to navigate the vast array of winter malady remedies. Cough and cold, just runny nose, sinus pain, congestion, dry hacking cough, fever, no fever. Argh? I had none of it. I was looking for something that would relieve pressure in my ears that might intensify with the flying experience. I felt I was in a trance picking up one box after another, turning it over in my hand hoping that the answer would jump out at me. I instinctively stepped back when I felt the presence of another shopper nearing.
It wasn't until she was within arms reach that I noticed her flowing floor length coat was brushing against my ankles and I continued my gaze up until I reached her face. It didn't take long for she barely reached my shoulder, if you gave her hat perched on her fluffy white curls credit for her stature. She was looking right at me through her wire-rimmed glasses, eyes sparkling and rose red lips spread into a smile as wide as her rounded cheeks. I smiled back and it felt good. Like a relief. The Christmas spirit was alive and well. Kindness for our fellow citizens. But then she did something I didn't expect. She reached out and put her hand gently under my bent elbow as a gesture of support. I felt safe at the same time as I wondered if she thought I was maybe someone else. I didn't speak, I didn't want this moment of comfort to end. Then as I gazed down at her she spoke. "Don't worry so," she said, "it'll give you wrinkles and you deserve laugh lines." I let out a sigh and a chuckle, I felt my cheeks go taut with a smile. It felt so good.
Without releasing my gaze her free hand extended blindly to the shelf on our left. And then she was pressing a box into my hand and she said, "This will help you it is what you need."
Finding my voice, I quietly thanked her, as I grasped the unseen box even tighter.
As I sensed a gentleman shopper was nearing, I prepared to leave. But she held me in place with her gentle hand at my elbow. "How about a Christmas hug?" she said. I bent down to reach her in a cheek to cheek embrace and it felt so natural to be hugging a complete stranger in the middle of the cold remedy aisle of the local drug store. It was only a moment but I had barely risen to my full height when she said in a somewhat mischievous little voice "How about another?" How could I say no?
But to my surprise the elderly male shopper had come to stand beside her with an arm draped over her shoulder. Her husband she explained. Why not I thought. So in the spirit of Christmas I walked into those outstretched arms of the man, his smile hidden under the pristine snow white beard and overgrown moustache. But his eyes twinkled and shone like the North Star perched on the round hillocks of his cheeks. His arms wrapped around me like a comfortable blanket making me feel safe. His strong roman nose grazed my forehead and I felt his warm breath fluttering my eyelashes. It felt familiar.
As we parted he very gently kissed my cheek and whispered into my ear, "You are worth it. Follow your heart and go where it leads you."
Arm in arm, they walked away and disappeared around a corner. I felt lighter somehow, as if they had taken some of my weighty burdens with them. Hope replaced doubt and fear.
And so it was that in this moment of bliss, I finally looked down at the box that I had been clutching so tightly that it was beginning to get deformed in my sweaty palm. It wasn't a box of commercially prepared concoctions. My name was on it and it was wrapped with festive paper. On the back was written these lines:
This box is filled with love
From people who have gone.
When you feel sad or lonely remember
That tomorrow will come the dawn.
And the light will shine
Open you arms and heart and
the love will be eternally possessed.
Should you need a hug or two
hold the box close to your breast
You can carry on just fine.
The next day on the plane, I made sure that the little box stayed with me and it brought me comfort and much joy. Memories flooded back. Just the good ones. Just the ones that brought pleasure. The hugs and the smiles, the kind words and the helping hands.
I closed my eyes and envisioned the times that were and the times were yet to be. And I smiled as the emotions spilled from my eyes and my heart. Filled to capacity and overflowing with love and happiness. The silver bird swiftly took me to the place where I left memories. If only for a short time to relive the joy...
Partially reality, partially fantasy, partially a dream. All original :)
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