Sunday, September 25, 2011

Dodge the bullets...

SIGNS - 5 Man Electrical Band

Yeah the song is cute but very appropriate as it speaks to the stupidity of some signs. We have all seen signs where we give our head a shake and wonder "What were they thinking?" or "Could anyone be so stupid as to need a sign for that?" Let's look at some that have me baffled

DODGE THE BULLETS AS YOU MAY BE UNDER GUNFIRE
Ok, technically it is "Bridge Freezes" but I personally don't see how spots above ground level would indicate this. The first time I saw this sign it was in a seedier neighbourhood and I thought dodge the bullet was a fair warning. Yes, these signs are posted near bridges but that landmark could also be a territorial divider among warring gang members.


YA THINK?
I just want to know how many brainiacs sitting around the boardroom table did it take to figure out that this was a necessary sign? Monumental waste of government time and tax dollars. This don't typically seem to be permanently erected signs. I think that would be a cool job...at the first hint of rain, go put out the signs and collect them as the sun shines....You know it would pay very well being a government job.


"YOU CAN"T CATCH THE BUS HERE!"
You see this sign a lot in larger metropolitan area, and like the previous sign there probably was some sound reasoning for this sign. However logic and common sense is gone the way of the dinosaurs. Logically, the intent was likely to keep traffic flowing, to keep the area free for transit vehicles and maybe even to keep the "street treats" away from the area. But if you were a transit rider, is there a bench available for you to sit (cuz I think that would be legal) or do you have to stand far from the curb and make a made run for the bus as it approaches. Like the hobos jumping onto the moving train...fair is fair, buses can't stop either :) I pity the seniors and anyone else who isn't trained to participate in a marathon.

"NIGHT DANCER"
Say what...dancer? Since when do the moose come out of the forested areas to dance on the roads...lol! This sign does not fall into the same category as the others because I think it is legitimate and can potential prevent tragedy. But none the less, this sign makes me smile and I have to share with apologies to my travelling companion. We were on a road trip in the northern part of Ontario where the moose and other wildlife outnumber the people. After passing this sign many times over the miles, my companion turned to me and remarked that she had been watching for the dancing moose and couldn't understand the logic behind the sign, when we came across a particularly large version of the sign and she was able to read that it actually said "Danger" not "Dancer". Well, I still can't look at this sign and not picture a desolate highway with crowd of "Meese" (is that the plural for moose? lol!) kicking up their hooves and dancing to the music of the forest creatures. One last thought, aren't you glad I was driving and not someone who needed glasses to be able read signs? I know I am...lol!




AREN"T YOU WORRIED ABOUT THE BABY GETTING SLIVERS?
These signs seemed to come into vogue about the time that my own babies were mere toddlers and there were no toddler on board signs to be had! Guess my kids were passed importance in the mind of the manufacturer. lol! These signs bothered me; not in a create a movement to ban their sales type of bother, but rather an irksome feeling and a bizarre mental picture of a baby strapped to a 2x4. What was the point of these signs really? As a motorist, if I am about to have a collision I should do everything humanly possible to avoid cars with such signs and go for the young adults or seniors? Hey a handicapped bus...aim for that! lol!
For awhile there, it seemed like one in 5 cars had at least one of these signs plastered on their windows. I wanted to look and see if it was true, or if they were using the sign for self-preservation. I mean, a baby in a car is one thing but a bunch of grown family men off on a fishing trip is different.
But maybe, just maybe these signs aren't saying that a babies life is more precious than my toddlers or even mine, but that there is life in the vehicle that will need help getting out of the vehicle in case of an accident. That's fair enough but to be non-discriminatory, we need signs to alert EMS personnel to the old and frail, the confused, and the physically restricted. A babies life while precious is not more important than any one elses. If you are going to save me because I am a baby but my mother dies...well maybe I'll wish you hadn't. But then I am speaking from experience after all.

WTF?
I have no words...this sign makes my head hurt...but I would like to have a word with the committee that commissioned this sign and put in the work order. I saw a group of people deep in discussion at City Hall, they were all wearing the same uniform...white tuxedos :p

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