Monday, August 20, 2012

Selling Signed Bibles to the Pope

Billionaire - Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars

This is about the second greatest thing to ever happen to me. And true to form, it has consumed my every waking moment for the past week. Every since the moment that my son was born on August 14, 1989 he has commanded all my attention. The last time that I had the final say on anything to do with him was when in the midst of final stage labour I told the staff in the delivery room that he absolutely could not be born on the 13th of the month. They used the reasoning of waiting for the doctor as a way of appeasing me. Maybe he was born on the 13th - I had other things on my mind besides clock watching, but officially the birth certificate says 12:01 am on August 14. It was just my superstitious nature, I don't usually let such things rule my life, but I figured that it was better not to push your luck and your child at the same time, lol. I don't think I would have requested to continue labour for an additional 8 hours for example...but it was close enough that I could make such demands without undue hardship on my part. The point is, that it was the last time I had that control over my sons life.

From the beginning he was as stubborn and determined as I imagine I was as a kid. So we had that connection. But as much as I loved him, my own kid creeped me out. He used to stare at me with an intensity and depth that was very unnerving. I felt like he was peering into my brain and into the depths of my soul, trying to figure me out. I know it sounds weird but it's true. He would be buckled into his car seat and I would like back at him to see his eyes upon me, his expression confused and piercing at the same time. I got used to it and accepted it since it wasn't accompanied by a blood-curdling scream. We had enough of those with the night terrors. If you haven't had the pleasure or experiencing night terrors, in his case, he would wake up in the middle of the night from a sound sleep screaming like he had been stabbed. Picking him up didn't console him until he woke up enough to realize that he was indeed safe. Like a piercing screech in a sealed tin can, scared the bejezzus out of everyone. His poor sister, she was so scared and just a toddler herself.

She 2yrs, He 6mos

The first years of his life was spent in a transitional phase. Born mid-August in Kentville Nova Scotia the doctor barely made it off the golf course before he could grab his baseball glove and catch Chris on his hasty exit. He was late in coming but determined and full of fire when he decided it was time. Born with a full thick head of dark hair, the nurses joked that he was almost ready for school, his long length and 9lb weight also helped. 24 hours later he made his first road trip when we were transferred to a hospital a little closer to our home. At just 3 months old, the family took a month long trip for Christmas in a motorhome. We returned home for just long enough to pack and move out of our house and into motorhome which became our principle residence at a campground for the next 7 months. We celebrated his 1st birthday just days after we moved into our newly constructed home. The motorhome was fairly spacious but not for two children under the age of 2 1/2. Particularly when one experienced night terrors. Other than that, it was like an adventure! Well, I was so exhausted that I often fell asleep in my supper because that was the only time I stopped moving. I think of all the toys that children have nowadays and laugh when I recall the meagre supply of entertainment the kids had that was not packed away. We had a tv but no cable or VCR. In any case, good times. Why Chris even learned to walk then, down the narrow hallway...he had some serious practicing to do out in the wide open spaces of a real home. 

I was incredibly lucky that my kids got along and actually like to spend time together. She liked Barbies and he had some Ken dolls. He had Batman and she had Batgirl. I tried to not gender stereo-type my kids but they were just that way. When the girl was a baby, she had a toy vehicle. She barely looked at it. When he came along, he picked it up and made an engine sound with his lips. He stepped on the dolls that she cared for so lovingly. So rather than focus on their genders, I focused on their different personalities and preferences. I embraced their uniqueness! In the early morning they would get each other up and play in one or the others room - I had a gate across the stairs so they could stay where it was safe. When they got old enough to take an interest in the TV, I would turn on Saturday morning cartoons before taking on the breakfast prep. Not even four years old and he would have the channel changed to Sports Desk on TSN. I don't even know how he knew about it in the first place, not like I watched it :). Fortunately the girl was not much of a TV watcher so it didn't matter to her what was on. 

Sports was always his thing. Playing or watching, he couldn't get enough. First and foremost it was baseball and his dream was to be a Toronto Blue Jays player. Of course 1992-1993 were the years for their back-to-back World Series wins, so that surely helped fuel the fire for the wee 3 year old. He may have started his training, throwing food and toys for the dog, but he quickly graduated to master pitcher throwing toddler baseballs from one end of the house to the other. Many a time the housework was left for later so that the practice could move to the safety of the great outdoors. He played on his first official team before the allowable age of 5 because I just couldn't hold him back any longer. 

If it wasn't for gym and recess at school, he would never have gone. School very much bored him. Teachers either loved him for his enthusiasm and the challenge he brought to the table or hated him for his enthusiasm and the challenge he brought to the table. I found that overall teachers liked him better if they hadn't taught the model student/his sister before him. Interviews with teachers made me laugh, one of the early ones told me she was having trouble keeping his attention. When I found out he had chosen a seat by the window I suggested she move him because he would much rather be outside playing then stuck indoors. She moved him and he stopped looking out the window he could no longer see. Problem solved. Common sense is lost on some teachers! 

When Chris was tested for giftedness, he deliberately did poorly because he didn't want to be moved to a different school away from his friends. Instead, they decided to challenge his academic prowess by providing additional work. That was a complete fail. As adults outside of the "halls of learning" we know that it is not a reward to be given more work, but a punishment. Harder work or more responsibility is an incentive however. One of the most ridiculous meetings I had with school staff was when the principle called me in because he was doing english homework during math class. It was stupid because his math was completed and he was filling up his time productively. The staff felt that homework as such should be done at home. Chris was well into his high school career before he brought homework home, yet it was always done (although probably hastily). Homework cut into his regularly scheduled street hockey game, or basketball game, or putting practice. I advised that principal that I was not in agreement with her policy and in fact felt that Chris' initiative should be applauded. Her next bone of contention was that Chris often finished assigned work quickly and then started talking to his buddies and disrupted other people. Bet he wasn't so talkative when he was completing other school work? Duh! 

He always had an agenda and a plan but it didn't always follow the societal norm of what was expected. It wasn't bad, just different. About 9 or 10 years old, Chris was going with an older friend to the corner store where they were giving away Coke rubber bracelets. Chris would get several at a time and take them to school and sell them for a $1 each. 100% profit he told me proudly. That wasn't his first business venture but it remains a standout because his customers could just as easily gone to the store and got them free for themselves. That was the moment I knew that business was his calling. 

The provincial school system was never his forte and without the sports teams and DECA I'm sure his attendance would be called to task and not just the un-matched socks he wore just to assert his independence and will. DECA is an extra-curricular group offered through some high schools that give students hands on learning in the field of business and marketing. This was his passion during those trying teenage years. Attending Dalhousie University in Halifax Nova Scotia was his other goal. He didn't know how it would be done financially but he knew that his university diploma would say Dalhousie one way or another. I had no doubt. This is a kid who got his first job at 11 so he could have a bike that mom couldn't afford. A bike that he enjoyed telling the loan officer at the bank was worth more than my car. Smart-ass! :)

Me and He 2011 Graduation

There is a saying that I had cross-stitched and framed when the kids were very young, it says "There are two things that we must give our children. One is roots, the other is wings." No truer words were spoken when it comes to my son. He needed someone to believe in him and then let him achieve it on his own with support and guidance not chastising and belittling. I am not in any way suggesting that he is perfect and I wouldn't air his dirty laundry that hang on the skeletons in his closet to the public. But he is a kid that always seemed to know where he was going and just needed some suggestions along the way, his drive sometimes got in the way of the constraints of society and he was ill equipped to effect change as a youngster. But with each new accomplishment, with every success, with every bump in the road, he made me prouder and prouder. 

He got his diploma and he spent all four years at Dalhousie University in Halifax (1000 miles away from home), he got the job that he decided he wanted. And he quickly became an asset to that company and fulfilled every promise he made if they took a chance on the new graduate. He works to get what he wants with integrity and professionalism. That determination and drive is applied to family, friends, personal and business relationships.

I hope I am around long enough to see how far he goes, because I don't see any limits as long as he maintains the morals and values that he has up until now. He tells me not to worry about leaving an inheritance for him because like the business cards that my friend had made for him during high school, he is a "Millionaire in the Making". 

It was a university buddy that once described my Chris better than any one else has every been able to...he said "Chris could sell signed copies of the Bible to the Pope." 

Happy 23rd Birthday to my beautiful boy! LOVE YOU!

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