My Stars In the Sky

Dancing In the Sky - Dani and Lizzy

First, I have to give a loud shout out to this song and the artists. When people here it, they are typically floored by the passion and beauty in both the words and the voice. Dani and Lizzy are the twin daughters of Canadian music legend Paul Hyde (Payola$) and inherited some family musical talent. When I first came across this song, I was so taken that I was shocked. It is a song that is a comfort to the very soul of someone who has lost love. I enclose the lyrics below and a link to their website. Listen, enjoy, buy, support talent!

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Today is March 21st. To me it is the first day of spring and always has been. I know that somewhere along the line the planets changed their alignment and the official date of spring was changed to March 20th. But not for me. 

Livia Sdraulig age 34, Linda Sdraulig age 10, Sandra Sdraulig age 13

The first day of spring is a time when the northern hemisphere wakes up from its long winter sleep. Flower bloom once again, babies are born and people come out of their hibernation with a "spring" in their step. The grass goes from brown to green, the trees begin to bud and the rain washes everything clean. Ready for lifes' renewal. But maybe there is a reason I have never liked spring. 

March 21st 1974 was the first day of spring. 

It was a Thursday. 

It was 40 years ago. 

It was 2087.1 weeks ago.

It was 14,610 day ago. 

It was almost my life time ago.

It was March break and the family and a friend of my mom's (Jenny) piled into the car for a late March break trip that coincided with an appointment for my brother, Ron at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota. The same trip was made many times for the same medical concern - treatment for Hodgkins Disease for Ron. The same road was travelled. Mom drove, Sandra (oldest) sat in the middle of front bench seat. Jenny road shot gun. The back seat order is a little fuzzier. I was in the middle with Linda (youngest) and Ron (3rd child and only son) on either side of me (second oldest). 

I remember stopping for gas, buying treats including licorce. I remember stopping at Perkins Restaurant for supper. The pay phone in the basement by the washrooms where we called my grandmother from Duluth, Minnesota. That was it, until the impact and the screaming. 

It was a divided highway near Hinkley, Minnesota. A transport truck hit us and climbed atop the trunk of the car, pushing us. The friction of the gas tank along the pavement started the fire. The speed and momentum of the truck pushed us a long ways until we went through the guardrail and tumbled down to land wheels up in the Grindstone River. The ice and the snows of winter still hanging on prevented any threat of drowning, and the raging fire was a more pressing problem. "Don't breath" yelled Mom. 

Ron pulled me out after finding himself half in and half out of the car window. He risked his life for when he got me - damage was already done to my body. The darkness of the night, the intense heat of the flames and the arrival of the emergency personnel prevented any further attempts of rescue. Jenny crawled out on her own. We heard this as we were speeding down the highway in the state troopers car to the first hospital. No one else did. Including the driver of the truck. 

Ron survived unblemished but not cancer free. Jenny and I bore the scars of that night for all to see and question. Last I heard Jenny was living in cottage country (Collingwood or Wasaga Beach). We never kept touch. She was mom's friend and personally the last thing I needed was face to face reminders of what happened and what I looked like. It's easy to avoid a mirror. 


I spent nearly 3 months in hospital recovering from 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree burns and minor instances of stitched up gashes. There was a lot of surgery, I don't know how many. And there was a lot of blood lost and replaced. 

So much life was lost on that day and mine was saved. 

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Things We Lost In The Fire - Bastille

I have always been grateful to those that donated the blood for me, because I've always claimed that I got good blood. Since that time, I have not had a mosquito bite that I can recall. If they do bite, I don't get the irritating and itchy swelling from it. I think they don't like me. I also rarely get sick with the flu or colds. Good blood I think. For this reason I always wanted to give back and donate blood.

Luck, has not always been on my side. When I was finally not selfish and immature enough to actually make the decision to step up and donate, I feared a diagnosis of AIDS. I never made the wisest decisions because I didn't know how to do anything but rebel and be angry. I did things for spite and stubbornness. If I was dying, I didn't want to know about it ahead of time. Although the idea was never far from my mind, I was afraid to do the test that might tell me something I didn't want to know.

Then earlier this year, I was forced to confront that fear. Possible cancer detected. And in the grief and self-pity, came a decision that regardless of the outcome, if they would have it, I would donate blood before it became contaminated with the chemical soup of cancer drugs.

A pin to commemorate the first donation.

I got good news (for a while) and Canadian Blood Services got a unit of the good stuff. Deep veins flowed swift and the nurse attendant was thrilled with my 7 minute donation time. I felt so good and so proud of myself for finally taking the plunge that it ended up being a selfish act, after all. That was a big surprise for me.

Fact: Each unit of blood that is donated equals about 450 ml which doesn't make a difference to the person donating. But every donation can make the difference between life and death for another person. A typical car accident victim needs 50 units, a cancer patient may need 5 units during a treatment. 

Fact: 52% of Canadians say they or a family member has been the recipient of a blood donation. I would suggest that that is a conservative estimate. Every day, Canadian hospitals require 2000 units of blood. These donations come from 3.5 percent of eligible Canadians. I am proud to be a minority. 

There is nothing to fear, if you are healthy. Give blood. Give life.

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According to the Canadian Blood Services, every donation can help to save 3 lives.   

Today, I commemorate a sad occasion in my personal family history with the hope of life and the remembrance of death past. I choose to give hope to another. I gave a donation of the blood that saved my life, in memory of the people I love that died. 40 years ago I lost three. Today I saved 3.

For every birthday in my family, there is a corresponding death anniversary. Today I took the first step to return to the celebration of Spring and of life by giving life to someone else. Three months from now when I am eligible to donate again, I will be nearing the death anniversary of my beloved brother Ron. On that day, I will mourn and at the same time I will share the gift of life again. 

We cannot and we don't have to let go and forget our trauma. For every scar on our heart and body is a story of our life. 

I am not dying any faster than the rest of you...that I know of right now, and I maintain a guarded optimism coupled with a dose of hope and a truckload of stubbornness. I want to try to celebrate the life that I have and do my small part so maybe someone doesn't have to feel the loss that I know too well.

Give. Love. Remember. Donate. Please. 




"Dancing In The Sky"

What does it look like in heaven?
Is it peaceful is it free like they say?
Does the sun shine bright forever?
Have your fears and your pain gone away?
Cause here on earth it feels like everything good is missing, since you left
And here on earth everything thing is different
there's an emptiness

Oh-oh-oh I, I hope your dancing in the sky
and I hope your singing in the the angels choir
I hope the angels, know what they have
I bet it's so nice up in heaven since you've arrived

Now tell me, what do you do up in heaven?
Are your days filled with love and light?
Is there music? Is there art and invention?
Tell me are you happy? Are you more alive?
Cause here on earth it feels like everything good is missing, since you left
And here on earth everything thing is different

Oh-oh-oh I, I hope your dancing in the sky
and I hope your singing in the the angels choir
I hope the angels, know what they have
I bet it's so nice up in heaven since you've arrived
Since you arrived

LINKS TO PREVIOUS POSTS ON THE SUBJECT:
Website: www.pinkpantherfan.ca Family tab
2013: Under The Dirt Sky http://pinkpantherfancanada.blogspot.ca/2013_03_01_archive.html
2012: Paradise Forever...Lost!
http://pinkpantherfancanada.blogspot.ca/2012/03/paradise-foreverlost.html


CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE:
http://www.daniandlizzy.com/
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/daniandlizzy/dancinginthesky.html
http://www.farmersalmanac.com/astronomy/2010/03/15/when-is-the-real-first-day-of-spring-march-20th-or-21st/
http://birthdayscan.com/1974/march/21/
https://www.blood.ca/centreapps/internet/uw_v502_mainengine.nsf/page/E_Who%20Needs%20Blood