Oh...Canada - Classified
How you know you are Canadian. You end every sentence with Eh.
EH = Pronouced AY (similar, but not the same as huh)
It's all about national pride at this time of year if you are indeed Canadian. To be completely accurate however - none of us are really true Canadians save for the aboriginal people that were here before the invasion of the Europeans. But where did they come from? I've heard it said that we were all at one time descended from a tribe in some corner of Africa. But that is a heavy topic that we will leave for another day. Now, today it is all about Canada. I was born here so while I claim a European (Italian) heritage, I do consider myself fully Canadian. My parents and grandparents where all born in Italy but they thought enough of the honour of being considered Canadian that they gave up their citizenship of birth to pledge to Canada. They became Canadian.
Canada is known far and wide for peacekeeping, friendliness and acceptance. Back in the 1980's when it was still fashionable to backpack through Europe upon graduation from high school, the one piece of advice I was given was to affix Canadian flags to my gear so I could be quickly identified. There was still a lot of animosity and bad feelings towards Americans and you didn't want to give the idea you were from the USA. In fact, I ran across a number of people from all parts of the US sporting Canadian flags. Apparently they heard the same stories about preferred treatment for Canadians. Accents aside, I think being from this country is not something that is easy to fake. It's just different here.
I am not claiming to be the most prolific traveller - my experiences lie primarily within the eastern parts of North America. But what I found is that as a whole Canadians were more openly friendly and willing to help. Without question, the people of Nova Scotia take top honours on the "open arms, shirt off your back" award. If you could dissect a few citizens and bottle the genuineness of their spirit, you could make a fortune. It's pretty amazing. And the best part is that a lot of people have become aware of this recently. Just mention Nova Scotia here in Southern Ontario and the first thing you here are comments about the friendliness of the people. I would love to think that other parts of the world view our country in the same way.
The problem I have with multiculturalism is not the mixing and mingling of a variety of cultures in the melting pot of one to create a brand new blend. The problem I have with multiculturalism is not the expanded knowledge of people from varying backgrounds with differing languages. Being Canadian means accepting a dual language policy. Everything I buy at home has both English and French written on it. Where you memorized everything there was to read in English on the cereal box when you were a kid, you tried to understand the French equivalent. I was thrilled as a kid to have the opportunity to try foods from the country of my parents birth, to learn a little bit about what it was like in the "old country". Now many of those food have become staples of the Canadian dinner table.
Canadian, Please
But immigration and the attitude towards it has changed over the years. My family was thrilled to be chosen to come to this new land full of freedom and opportunities that they would not have had at home. This gratitude was evident in the work ethic that they displayed and the assimilation into the life in Canada. The country owed them nothing, they owed the country that took them in. Today that attitude is for the most part gone. And that acceptance we were so widely known for is disappearing. There is a sour taste in the mouths of a lot of Canadians, there is a fear that the country we love is going to be gone. In an effort to encourage immigration, our identity is being given away. Rather than coming to this country and assimilating, people are coming and trying to change it. Just recently I read a post on facebook that said:
"Don't come to my country and try to make it
into the country you left behind.
If where you came from was that great
you wouldn't have left it in the first place."
There is a lot of truth in those words. For me, I guess is started many years ago when the iconic symbol of Canada was taken to court and forever changed when someone wanted to wear the uniform of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police to suit him. He couldn't wear the stetson hat over his turban. Maybe it is a little thing but it wasn't to me. I can't even wear glasses in my official identification, but others are allowed face and hair coverings? Bottom line for me, is if you are coming to Canada for what it and the people stand for, why do you want to change it? I don't care for the abuse of our inherent good nature. That abusive intent extends to those who manipulate the health care and social security system that I and my ancestors have worked hard to protect and maintain by bringing over ailing relations who have contributed nothing to the system.
I remain at odds over the whole "running across the border to avoid the draft" business. With the strong sentiments over the morality of the Vietnam War, I have a lot of compassion for those people who fled what they felt was an egregious injustice. I hope that those people where able to find peace and comfort in their new land and didn't just use it for personal gain. On the other hand, I know of someone who in the last week of all 4 of her pregnancies rushed across the border to give birth to ensure that her offspring would be American citizens. When we spoke of the pitfalls of medical insurance and the draft, she claimed it was her intent to ship the children back to Canada for health care and at a time of the enlistment. It's not just a inanimate country you are abusing. It is the people who work and take pride in that country that you are abusing. Am I alone in seeing how wrong this is?
As a peace-loving nation, we are better allies to other countries than the one who storms in and throws the first punch. Just a few war facts, without too many details our defense budget is laughable so is our stock of armament and military equipment. Most of us are okay with that - sure don't hear about a lot of protests that is for sure. In the war of 1812 however we still managed to burn down the White House and most of Washington. Our own "Civil War" was led by a drunk and possibly insane William Lyon McKenzie - it was essentially a bar fight that lasted less than an hour. One person was arrested and hanged after the civil war and he was an American mercenary who slept in and missed the whole "war", showing up just in time to get caught.
Bob and Doug McKenzie - The Great White North
CANADA IS:
- land of the strong
- home of the free
- innovative
- inventive
- medical miracles
- scientific breakthroughs
- peaceful
- kind
- polite
- funny
FROM THE CANADIAN BILL OF RIGHTS:
I am Canadian,
free to speak without fear,
free to worship in my own way,
free to stand for what I think right,
free to oppose what I believe wrong,
or free to choose those who shall govern my country.
- Hockey, basketball, lacrosse, instant replays
- Poutine, Nanimo bars, butter tarts, bloody Caesar, peanut butter, Crispy Crunch,
- Blackberry, standard time, walkie-talkies
- Birch bark canoes, snowmobiles, Canadarm
- Electric Wheelchair, foghorn, snow-blower, cardiac pacemaker
- Insulin, electron microscope, plexiglass
- Garbage bag, wonderbra, Jolly Jumper, pablum
- caulking gun, Robertson head screwdriver and bits, duct tape (yeah baby!)
And don't forget....
Tim Hortons Coffee
The Mickey - no not the mouse!
The 2-4 case of beer with handles that fit mittens built into the sides :)
and beer that is worth drinking! :)
Our biggest (at least funniest) export is our comedians. John Candy, Jim Carrey, Howie Mandel, Rick Moranis, Mike Myers, Leslie Nielson, Martin Short, Catherine O'Hara, Andrea Martin. What would Saturday Night Live be without Canada's own Lorne Michaels?
A bit of National Pride
brought to you by the makers of elixir of Canadians from Sea to Sea - Molson Canadian Beer! circa 1980's
Hey...
I am not a lumberjack, or a fur trader,
and I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled,
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I'm certain they're really, really nice.
I have a Prime Minister,
not a President.
I speak English and French,
NOT American!
and I pronounce it "ABOUT"
NOT "A BOOT".
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation
And that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
I know that a toque is a hat,
a chesterfield is a couch,
and it is pronounced "zed" not "zee"
Canada is the second largest Land mass in the world!
The first nation of hockey!
And the best part of North America!
My name is Joe (or Liz :)
and...I AM...C A N A D I A N !
AN AMERICAN VIEW OF CANADA
Editorial from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette - August 2003
It's not just the weather that's cooler in Canada. You live next door to a clean-cut, quiet guy. He never plays loud music or throws raucous parties. He doesn't gossip over the fence, just smiles politely and offers you some tomatoes. His lawn is cared-for, his house is neat as a pin and you get the feeling he doesn't always lock his front door. He wears Dockers. You hardly know he's there. And then one day you discover that he has pot in his basement, spends his weekends at peace marches and that guy you've seen mowing the yard is his spouse.
Allow me to introduce Canada. The Canadians are so quiet that you may have forgotten they're up there, but they've been busy doing some surprising things. It's like discovering that the mice you are dimly aware of in your attic have been building an espresso machine.
Did you realize, for example, that our reliable little tag-along brother never joined the Coalition of the Willing? Canada wasn't willing, as it turns out, to join the fun in Iraq. I can only assume American diner menus weren't angrily changed to include "freedom bacon," because nobody here eats the stuff anyway.
And then there's the wild drug situation. Canadian doctors are authorized to dispense medical marijuana. Parliament is considering legislation that would not exactly legalize marijuana possession, as you may have heard, but would reduce the penalty for possession of under 15 grams to a fine, like a speeding ticket. That is to allow law enforcement to concentrate resources on traffickers; if your garden is full of wasps, it's smarter to go for the nest rather than trying to swat every individual bug. Or, in the United States, bong.
Now, here's the part that I, as an American can't understand. These poor benighted pinkos are doing everything wrong. They have a drug problem. Marijuana offenses have doubled since 1991. And Canada has strict gun control laws, which means that the criminals must all be heavily armed, the law-abiding civilians helpless and the government on the verge of a massive confiscation campaign. (The laws have been in place since the '70's, but I'm sure the government will get around to the confiscation eventually.) They don't even have a death penalty!
And yet...nationally, overall crime in Canada has been declining since 1991. Violent crimes fell 13 percent in 2002. Of course, there are still crimes committed with guns - brought in from the United States, which has become the major illegal weapons supplier for all of North America - but my theory is that the surge in pot-smoking has rendered most criminals too relaxed to commit violent crimes. They're probably more focused on shoplifting boxes of Ho-Hos from convenience stores.
And then there's the most reckless move of all. Just last month, Canada decided to allow and recognize same-sex marriages. Merciful moose, what can they be thinking? Will there be married Mounties (they always get their man!)? Dudley Do-Right was sweet on Nell, not Mel! We must be the only ones who really care about families. Not enough to make sure they all have health insurance, of course, but more than those libertines up north.
This sort of behavior is a clear and present danger to all our stereotypes about Canada. It's supposed to be a cold, wholesome country of polite, beer-drinking hockey players, not founded by freedom-fighters in a bloody revolution but quietly assembled by loyalists and royalists more interested in order and good government than liberty and independence. But if we are the rugged individualists, why do we spend so much of our time trying to get everyone to march in lockstep? And if Canadians are so reserved and moderate, why are they so progressive about letting people do what they want to?
Canadians are, as a nation, less religious than we are, according to polls. As a result, Canada's government isn't influenced by large, well-organized religious groups and thus has more in common with those of Scandinavia than those of the United States, or, say, Iran.
Canada signed the Kyoto global warming treaty, lets 19-year-olds drink, has more of its population living in urban areas and accepts more immigrants per capita than the United States. These are all things we've been told will wreck our society. But I guess Canadians are different, because theirs seems oddly sound.
Like teenagers we fiercely idolize individual freedom but really demand that everyone be the same. But the Canadians seems more adult - more secure. They aren't afraid of foreigners. They aren't afraid of homosexuality. Most of all, they're not afraid of each other.
I wonder if America will ever be that cool.
While the author makes some good points, he does need some further education on others. What too many people on the this grand planet of ours tends to forget is that we all have needs and desires and you shouldn't have the right to trample of mine because they happen to be different than yours. This applies to immigrants coming to a country then forcing it to adopt all the policies and views that weren't working in the land from which they came while they forget that they are infringing on the views I hold dear. I may not chose homosexuality as my preference but do I have the right to take away rights of people for that reason. While marriage may not be a term I would use, certainly a union with the same benefits is not unreasonable. I like feeling safe among my neighbours and in my community knowing that the chances of being shot accidentally are minimal.
A bit of Canadian Trivia:
1. How many time zones are there in Canada?
2. How many NHL teams does Canada have?
3. When did Oh Canada become the national anthem? (year and date)
4. How many cities have hosted the Olympics? Which cities and what season?
5. In what year did Canada official become a country?
6. What is a prairie oyster? Would eat it or steal a gem from it?
For more fun Canadian facts:
check out this link Canadian-isms
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