www.pinkpantherfan.ca
If, as Tom Cochrane states, "Life is a Highway", then mine is full of potholes, detours and roadblocks. Anything to ensure a smooth journey. It's a lonely road and it never ends, because I have nowhere to go and no one is expecting me.
I putter along, struggling just to stay on the road as the majority of society whizzes by in their sleek Jags and Beemers with perfect chassis' and smoothly running engines. They are beautiful...perfect. I gotta say, I'm a bit jealous, for just a while I would like to cruise down the highway without having to fight to stay on the road, without being pushed aside by the wind they create in passing. But it's not to be. My car has no "oomph" left in its tired old body, the tires are bald, the upholstery has rips and bulges where they never used to be, the paint job is a mottled mix of colours that are beyond description and the windshield...well, you can't even see out of it anymore. Every day looks muggy.
Broken down, I stand at the side of the road. No one to help me, I lift the hood as an invitation to the passers-by. But although they slow to look, they keep on going - laughing at the sight of me. They don't have a care in the world and they are not alone. They have somewhere to go and someone who wants them. I stand alone and watch them go with a tear or two running down my face that no one can see. I don't move to avoid the rocks and garbage that they are throwing at me as they pass. Maybe, somehow, I deserve it. They are many and I am but one...with no one in my corner and I can't fight anymore...
In an attempt to explain to a friend, these words came and I thought it might help explain to others as well...
ReplyDelete"it (these feelings of insecurity and worthlessness) comes from work...Don't feel accepted there - a place where I thought I was okay...so I'm not good for anything, anybody, anywhere. It's easy to say, to write, to understand and explain...but I can't change it...Wheels are spinning but I am stuck in the mud..."