Seems Like a Long Time - Rod Stewart
Today is my Mothers birthday! She would have been 18 years old. Seriously, I never knew how old she was because whenever we asked, she said 18. It wasn't until the year of her birth was carved into her headstone that I could do the math and figure it out for real. Today she would be 72...I can't wrap my head around that. She was just 34 years old when she died - timeless and forever young. For her brief time on earth and even shorter time in my life, she left a gaping hole in my heart and a lasting impact on how I view the world. To say that my Mom overcame a lot of diversity would be an understatement. Her upbringing in a strict Catholic Italian family was dominated by the notion that the rules were different for a girl than a boy. Education wasn't important, marrying well was. When Mom fell in love, her relationship was kept a secret because Dad wasn't the professional that Mom was expected to marry. She did anyways...Go Mom! :)
Livia and Dante Sdraulig eloped on January 9th 1960 and in the space of 4 years, had four children. When the youngest was just one month old, Mom lost the love of her life and embarked on a decade long battle to avenge his death and hold someone accountable. Bad legal advise prevented that and life was a struggle financially for Mom. Of course, her own mother wasn't too far behind reminding her "I told you so". But Mom had a sunny disposition and did a remarkable job making us feel that we were a "normal" family despite our Dad had died. It is because of my Mother that I love music, love to read and am so well-rounded, Mom valued intelligence and talent. I remember her once saying that she was at a party and was envious of the guy who pulled out a guitar and began to play. Ironically none of us ever learned to play the guitar (although I did try in recent years with minimal success). But we had lessons in just about everything else going. I may miss a few but here we go - swimming lessons and members of a competitive swim team, gymnastics, figure skating, piano, ballet, tap, jazz, art/drawing and modelling. For a time, there was ballet, tap and jazz on three nights a week, swimming five nights a week and piano lessons once a week and practice every night. But there was still time for friends and social although a lot of friends were at the lessons and a lot of social was with the siblings lol! Although I personally wasn't a fan of all the lessons (I prefer to be self-taught lol) I don't regret it, because I have drawn on those experiences many times in my life.
Besides lessons, Mom's passion was photography. She loved to go out on a Saturday or Sunday to some city landmark or park and take pictures of us. Sometimes posed, sometimes not. It was always fun family time. Quite often the three of us girls would be dressed in matching dresses that Mom had sewn herself. Mom did a lot of sewing, either costumes for dance recitals or day to day clothing. I don't know if it was a passion or necessity to save money, either way we loved getting new clothes that she made. She was a multi-talented lady to be sure. Besides her prowess with a needle and thread, she could also knit and crochet. She tackled many craft projects and was a talented artist and photographer. She was qualified as an educator and did teach English to new immigrants as well as having a few years behind the desk in the mainstream classroom. But I don't remember my Mom as being a teacher, I recall the job she took at the auto body shop as a book keeper and office manager possibly to pay off the debt from a unfortunate encounter with a deer. I remember Mom attending Lakehead University to up-grade her education so she could return to the classroom. She was unceremoniously let go from the Board when she took some time off after Dad's passing to care for her four children all of pre-school age. 
Things were beginning to move forward for her when my brother was diagnosed with Hodgkins Disease at the age of 9. Coping with this new challenge and the on-going financial struggles, Mom suffered a nervous breakdown which had her hospitalized briefly. Despite it all, Mom was still able to keep her sunny disposition and a smile on her face. And we felt safe and loved. She had the love of two to give and the strength of four to carry on. But don't ask her to turn that old Mercury Meteor on a dime because she fought with that standard steering. The car was a tank! And there was a good chance her feet were bare because shoes were not a friend to her bunions. I am my mothers daughter...she passed her bunions on to me. And her laughter...the nicest compliment I ever had was when my aunt told me that when I laugh I sound just like my mother.
There have been times in my life when I have been angry that I didn't have my Mom around. Often in times of crisis when I feel like only a mother could help me. Also in times of joy when I want to be able to share with her. In times of sadness when I would like her to hold me close and reassure me like she used to do. In times of confusion because there was no one that has ever had her ability to make me feel worthy and worthwhile. But I cannot change the circumstances of my life and of her death, as best that I can I have learned to deal with (if not accept) the cards I have been dealt. Today I wish my Mother a very Happy Birthday and know that she is celebrating with all her loved ones in heaven and me here alone on planet Earth. Miss you Mom!
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