I And Love And You - The Avett Brothers
Another Valentines Day is upon us a time for those who profess it to go out and prove it. And they do in droves. The one day where men out-shop the women by a margin of 2:1 and the American Greeting Card Industry claims that one quarter of all cards sent are Valentines Day Cards and second only to Christmas in consumerism (money spent). But I would suggest that that is because of the high ticket items that those poor men have been convinced that they have to spend. Once upon a time, a quick trip to the flower store followed by a stop to pick up a card and maybe some chocolates was all it took to make you "Man of the Year". But in the 1980's the diamond and jewelry industry got interested in taking a cut of the love pie, followed by the travel industry and you better have deep pockets.
But this celebration of love initially started as a sort of free for all sex-fest. Girls would put there name in a jar, the boy who picked their name would be with them for an entire year. Sort of like a trial run before the commitment of marriage, the Catholic church however wasn't too excited and set out to involve the church into it. After 800 years of fun, they wanted both sexes to draw names of Saints that they would emulate for the following 365 days. It wasn't a big hit - no surprises there :)
Today while the Iraq capital of Baghdad has for a day holstered the weapons and hung up the uzi's having embraced the lace and satin teddy bears and nighties while conservative Muslims sit on the opposite street corner frowning at the growing popularity of the pagan festival. Meanwhile, in Indonesia there is push on by Muslim clerics to ban all Valentine Day celebrations. All right, as long as we can revert back to the days of yore...put my name in the pot :)
Croatia has a facility for all the lonely hearts to go an mourn and shed a few tears over the love that was. Along with the wedding dress that was shredded after the divorce, the teddy bear that had his legs ripped off in a fit of anger the axe that assisted in the division of marital property, you can also find other symbol of love gone wrong at this specialized museum.
Although most people recognize Valentine's Day as just another marketing sham that they feel they are pushed into partaking, it is a good time to evaluate the relationship and perhaps infuse some spice to re-kindle the romance. It can't hurt to have some help remember why you are with your "other" and if it's really where you want to be. Although, I would suggest that Valentines Day is not the best time to break up! You may be giving up your last opportunity in a while for passionate loving. Valentine's Day sex like Birthday sex should be the only mandatory thing about the festivites.
I wonder though, how long into the relationship should you be before you celebrate Valentines Day as a couple. That could put a lot of pressure on where it may not be ready to hold it. I was talking to one lady who started dating her husband early in the year and expected and got a token of love in February...and every year since for the past 40. She however has never reciprocated because her getting him flowers and chocolate would be redundant. It seems they save the real celebration of love for their anniversary. Aww...
NEWS BULLETIN: It seems that people in love will live longer than those of us happy in singledom. Scientists have found a hormone that helps us to form bonds of love, friendship and trust called Oxytocin is much more prevalent in couples. Oxytocin also gives us the courage to get out there and build social networks that beyond our partner will support us and help us cope with stress. As an added bonus it gets the male all fired up to conquer and plant his seed. Oxytocin should not be confused with the highly addictive and possibly deadly pain reliever OxyContin. Although, to be fair being in a relationship has been proven deadly for some. Think Betty Broderick and OJ Simpson. Maybe unattached and happy can prolong your life? Or someone needs to invent a definitive test to weed out the whack-o's.
If you do find yourself alone and lonely today, head for the nearest big city. It seems that is where you will find the higher concentration of single people. One can speculate that there is so much to do to satisfy the social need that does not necessitate partners, and once attached they head for the burbs to begin procreating. Above all you need to remember that you are no different and no less a person today that you were yesterday or a week ago. It is consumerism that has you feeling down. Consider that all the love that kids feel on this day is mandated. Parents are given a class list - all kids get a Valentine or no one does. I would rather get none than get false hope and fake love.
What ever stage of life you find yourself in right now, I hope you are happy. Before you can find true love with another you must first truly love yourself. Personally speaking - single and happy beats the crap out of attached and miserable..."Better to have loved and lost then be stuck with a jerk". I remember my girlfriend telling me that more than I remember his hollow I Love You's.
Happy Valentines Day!...now get busy!
For the cynics:
Happy unimaginative, consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance day!
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