Movers and Shakers!

No Regrets - Tom Cochrane

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg8o6SfgCk0

The summer of 2015 will go down as the summer of movers and shakers. For me at least, because it seems that every other person I talk to is planning a move and before they go there is a lot of shaking going on! To be honest the shaking is probably the dust flying around upon being disturbed after so many years. I know you can all relate! :)

I moved two years ago now and always said I would write about the disaster that was that move, if only to warn people. It has been locked up (where it will continue to stay) until I feel strong enough to revisit that stressful period in my life. 

But once the moving part was settled, it was the best thing I could have done for myself - and yes, it was totally selfish. From that move came an awesome circle of friends and supporters that just seems to grow. Some say it is the nature of the east coast. Some say it's not a reality at all. I think maybe it might be the sea air and salt water! Really, I don't know because all of the good people don't have maritime blood in their veins but they do have hearts of gold.

Before I got here, one had left to go back to her home town of Boston and one had left my life but not my heart. Others I knew from years ago I have been able to reconnect with. And in this wonderful city I found other kindred spirits. One I said "farewell" to just last week.

Lake Baikal in Siberia - The deepest lake on earth

When I tell people she is moving to Siberia, nobody believes me. They make jokes like "nobody willingly goes to Siberia, they get sent there for punishment - what did she do wrong?" All I know is that she is following her love there and it is a question of work options and experience. The only thing that most people know about Siberia is that it is cold and big. I think that there are some people that think that is an accurate description of Canada as well. But first hand knowledge has taught me different - maybe her experiences there will teach me a little something about Siberia too. 

Before she left we got in as much friend time as we could and we made some fabulous memories and she left me with a broader circle of friends that I can also call my own. 

The cat doesn't understand why the hiding
places are disappearing

Her father and sister came to help her with this massive transition and to spend some extra time with her as well. Her father is European and spoke of when he made the move across the ocean to Canada and it got me to thinking about possessions. When the early immigrants crossed the Atlantic to land on the shores of this "new" country they barely had the clothes on their backs and maybe one suitcase. Everything was left behind but the basics and few mementos. It doesn't seem that there was the attachment to stuff that we have now. But is that a bad thing?

One day, the time comes for all (or most) of us to move. Even if it is just the transition from our childhood home to our own place, we have to pull our "stuff" out from the nooks and crannies where we stored it and box it up. We look at each piece and go through a gamut of emotions. A fond memory or a question of our sanity. We all have those things hidden away that we look at and go "what was I thinking when I decided to keep that". And then pretending to throw it out we toss it slyly into the box of treasures hoping that no one noticed. 

Unless you have done it yourself recently, you have no idea how much stuff can accumulate under our noses without our really paying much attention. The number of calculators, pens and tape dispensers that I came across when I packed is a classic example of how we consume and collect. You can't find tape, you buy a new one. Calculator doesn't work you buy a new one and forget to toss the broken one. It's not until you are forced to box up your life that you can take a good look at your life collection a piece at a time. Then you look back in wonder at how it all fit in that tiny space.

We are afraid to let go of friends, family, love and even stuff. The stuff is a tangible reminder of our life. When we move, we are leaving the familiar and comfortable. Our things are our safety link, they represent our sense of purpose and belonging. Our security blanket shrouding the unknown. 

It is exciting to move but it is also terrifying. New adventures and experiences lie ahead but our physical memories are left behind. The bite marks in the venetian blinds that we made as children only fit the window of my childhood home. Never again will I sit with my daughter under the tree we planted in her childhood home to commemorate her birth. Never again will I look fondly at the spot where my brother stood the last time he visited me before he died.

This is were cameras can play a crucial role. Sometimes taking a picture helps us to let go of stuff - although admittedly it is not always easy. I have tried to capture in still or moving pictures a record of the homes I have lived in. Caring for the collection of stuffed animals that my children amassed got to be too much (so we took pictures to serve as memory placeholders) and gave them away. And no I am not talking about Pink Panthers :)

Just for the record 4 large bins and 3 boxes of them and some left in storage. Don't judge me! lol!

Home - The Devin Cuddy Band

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O76QFqcZ-g

As for the others that are moving. I have come to the decision that the home that I made for my children is being sold as the good memories have left the physical structure and remain with me and them. I am proud of what we accomplished in that modest home and if I could pick it up and move it far away from the pain that is there now I would. It's not the house, it's not the neighbours - it's the part of my life that was destroyed by those that remain nameless at my workplace.

A family member sold their home after years of saying they would, they finally took the plunge. I wonder if they will be judged as I was for having stuff? And although I haven't seen the new home it is my understanding that this move means some serious downsizing!

The mother of a friend is doing exactly what I did in reverse several years ago. She is leaving her family here and heading west. She'll be missed. She was a friend to me as well.

Miss You HM

Adding to the chaos and upheaval, the Siberia-bound friend is also selling her own childhood home with some family members. More nooks and crannies to peer into and memories to treasure. Another family will move in and find love in those walls.

One child moved to a new place a couple of months ago and the other child is soon moving to a new place. Ironically, neither moving too far from their previous address but a life change none-the-less. I wish for them that the year of Champagne Wishes carries on for a lifetime! 

As fall approaches I am sure that the upheaval will settle along with the dust and life will go on with some of us having a different view of the world. Good luck to all those in transition.

credit Where credit is due:

Siberia picture/wallpaper

http://1ms.net/lake-baikal-siberia-412962.html

A Hot Guy with Handcuffs Finally Comes to the Door and All He Wants is a Report

Come On Over - Shania Twain

Just my luck to invite someone hot and in a uniform over to the house and all he wants to do is talk! That's talking foreplay a little to seriously lol! 


Okay to be fair, he was a police officer and I called him to make a report. But he was hot and friendly and...married.


A little background, I moved into this house when the kids were barely double digits on the age scale and it was like a piece of heaven in more ways than one.  We had just spent a year in a two bedroom apartment on the third floor of a town house. It was crowded to say the least and miserable at the best of times. Mind you we had come from much more spacious quarters in beautiful Nova Scotia prior to that. So even though we were only going into a small semi-detached bungalow, we were all going to have our own personal space and a yard, and a basement. The neighbours were like heaven sent angels. They were recently retired and had lived on the street forever, they were the original owners of their house and could tell me a complete history of not only who lived and died in my house but nearly every house on the street as well. Yes, I said died, an old man expired of natural causes when he owned the house. The old man next door was constantly helping with whatever needed doing in and around the house and he was quite handy. It worked well, it got him out from under her skin and I got things done around here too. 


Do you remember the TV show Everybody Loves Raymond? The in-laws across the street Frank and Marie? Well, that was what my neighbours became over time, nosy and always in my business. My very own Frank and Marie - let's call them that. There was still a lot of appreciation on my part, but there were times when I knew how to do it and could do it fine on my own. But it turns out that my "Frank" was a bit of a sexist and there were certain things he didn't think women should be doing. That's why he was so helpful. However as his hearing deteriorated over the years it became more and more annoying to have him "help". There was one year when he came over to remind my son that it was time to put up the Christmas lights. We told him that we had decided not to bother with putting up lights that year, and thought that was the end of it. Until a week later he was knocking on the door with the ladder in hand saying it was time. There was no stopping him and after he took the lights himself to check if all the bulbs worked, we had Christmas lights up. 


The summers though were a bigger nuisance though. The patio was in the side yard and all that separated us was a hedge and a lilac bush. It was impossible to do any yard work or entertaining without either Frank or Marie poking their heads over the hedge to ask what was on the barby or offer words of advise on gardening options. Enjoying company but not liking the lack of an option for solitude, I tried letting the hedge grow taller to provide some privacy just in that area. Frank took it upon himself to fix my trimming job. He also disliked the way my manual push mower cut my grass and would re-cut it after I was done with his "power" gas machine. "There now, isn't that better" he would say. I really didn't care it was just grass so, if it kept him busy no harm no foul. And yes, against my wishes he took my two outdoor extension cords and spliced them together into one. The thing is that as far as neighbours go, they could have been worse. It was certainly nice to know that if you needed a spot of milk for your morning coffee, or someone to sign for a package there was someone you could trust. And for 8 years it was exactly that.


The houses were built in the late 1950's and they were amazed when I hired a contractor to come and finish my basement and upgrade my wiring. It wasn't necessary to re-wire and Frank could put up panelling in the basement like he did at his place. No, I don't think so. For quality of living, the basement was definitely a family priority since it could be used 365 days a year and would save money on heating. Frank and Marie were old and set in their ways so during these renovations, I began to prep them about the fence that would be going in at some point, my comments were largely ignored. They didn't see a need for a fence, we had a hedge. I wanted to let the dog out without worrying about tying him up - no hedge would stop him! The first to go was the lilac bush and that was when the grumbling started. The lilac bush had to stay because it provided shade for their side door in the hot days of the summer. I suggested a fence may accomplish the same thing. Throughout the construction that summer, Frank and Marie watched from inside their house, every move that the contractors made and Frank would often come out and question them - delaying the progress and annoying the crew. When it was all said and done, it looked great. Rather than force them to pay for half through their taxes and seeing as they claimed not to have the money to pay for half, I only went halfway down the property line. Just enough to give me the privacy I wanted without shutting them out completely. 


But they weren't happy and the bulls**t started. They complained to the town that the fence wasn't on the property line, that it was too high, that it was crooked and sloped towards their property, that it wasn't regulation. They complained to the the town that I hadn't received a permit for construction of the fence, patio, front deck, basement renos. They complained to the tax assessors that I had done basement renovations without alerting them, that I had installed another washroom without reporting it. They complained about the dog being unleashed, barking incessantly, being unlicensed. It was all ridiculous and I ignored every new onslaught that they threw my way and wrote them off. I refused to stoop to their level. Things calmed down eventually.


About a year ago their grandson moved in. Suddenly garbage was constantly strewn around the patio, feces were flung onto the interlock, the storage cabinet doors were wide open. The hose nozzle and it's attachments were stolen, cigarette butts littered the property, lawn furniture that had been covered was not, and the bricks holding down tarps vanished. It's all stupid little stuff but it's been consistent and escalating in frequency. It got to the point where every time I came home I would look around for new damage or surprises. When I recognized it as a feeling of being unsafe, I called the men in blue. 


He was very easy on the eyes and easy to talk too and sympathetic and did agree that some of what I described could indeed be attributed to wind and nature, but not all of it and some did seem to be just nuisance activities. While it is said that you can leave your doors unlocked and feel safe in this town, the same cannot be said for vehicles. The youth in our community enjoy rifling through neighbourhood cars to see what treasures they will find. But as the officer told me, they never seem to go into backyards, so the likelihood of the grandson being the culprit was quite good. It also seems that the he himself had a run in with the lad one late evening at a local drinking establishment that necessitated him driving the drunken sot home. The officer was concerned about the potential for escalation of behaviour but given the trepidation that I was feeling, it was worth the risk. 


Officer Handsome called me back to report on his conversation with the neighbours. They denied everything regarding their displeasure over the fence, I am apparently the greatest neighbour ever. They did acknowledge that the grandson smokes and may have thrown cigarette butts over the fence when his butt can went missing a while back. They assured him they would discuss that behaviour with the young hooligan and of course they denied everything else. But now at least they know that if anything happens to me or my property, a report has been filed and they will be prime suspects and may think twice before retaliating. I feel better so it was worth it. 


Interestingly, Officer Handsome and I had a nice conversation about the collecting of unique objects - his mother collects very specific butterflies that his wife helps to locate. He was asking me about where I find all the Pink Panthers. The thing that struck me as unusual afterwards that he really saw nothing. The license plate of course, and a few in the kitchen. Really nothing that I would think would prompt that kind of conversation starter...hmmm. If he only knew the extent of the collection lol! Then maybe he might pull out those handcuffs and use them :)

My little piece of heaven in the concrete jungle-the Patio Bar!

Brand Loyalty Only Goes as Far as The Dollar Stretches

Money - Pink Floyd

Commercialism and Consumerism - Loaded topic! Hey, I've heard that somewhere before! lol! I am not a business tycoon and know very little about the subject of economics both nationally and internationally. The range of my actual experience extends from working as an employee in a retail environment and as a shopper. I am actually quite experienced in the latter :) But I never purported to be an expert on any subject that I have delved into on this blog. Just absurdity as I see it.

Monopoly - Not Parker Brothers
To that end, there was a time when all you heard and read about was the monopoly that Microsoft had when it came to home computing. And indeed, they had a product in "Windows" that everyone wanted, and to bolster their success in the corporate world, Microsoft packaged Windows with other programs of their own design like Office, Media Player and Internet Explorer. In fact, Microsoft was sued many times over this alleged monopoly that they had. Or was it jealousy because AOL customers preferred IE over their own Netscape. Face it, consumers are fickle and if they perceive that something better has come along, well the proof is in the ultimate choice. For me, Netscape was great until I discovered IE then along came Firefox. Today I move between Google plus and Safari. I would dump Safari but I don't have that option. And herein lies the problem. How is what Microsoft was doing a monopoly but Apple forcing Safari, iTunes, iCloud etc upon us is somehow different. It seems to me with my limited computer knowledge, that I can play many formats of media with Media player but the same is not true for iTunes. My Media Player library transfers efficiently to iTunes, but iTunes is not compatible with any portable player but iPods and some music is not compatible to even Media Player. I don't care for this double standard as I see it. I also feel that Apple is taking advantage of this marketplace niche by keeping prices artificially inflated. Consider that Apple is only sold in select locations chosen by the company, sale prices are dictated by the company, not the market. Don't get me wrong, Apple as a company can do whatever they want to sell and market their products, my point is that this should be practice across the board. Why should Microsoft be criticized when they play the same game. 

RIM and Apple
Let's move from Microsoft and computers to Apple and RIM. Two completely different products despite both being cellphones. It reminds me very much of MacIntosh Computers versus IBM compatible. Hold on...consider that for a moment. Mac's are stand alone, like nothing else, and not friendly with other home computing systems. IBM opens the door and lets everyone share. I sense a form of racism. :p The point is that for consumers, there was a place in the market for both systems. Where one failed, the other excelled - and that was good. Like humanity, we can fight each other or we can work to complement one another. Mac was great for the design and artistic programs. IBM was viewed as more of a work horse dealing with finances and productivity. Blackberry and iPhone are the same. Blackberry has traditionally been the phone of choice for the Bay Street Suits and those who use their phone as an extension of their office. It was a question of familiarity using the keyboard to respond to e-mails and such. Along came the iPhone and suddenly people flocked to the new kid on the block so they too could have a chance to play Angry Birds. With the wide open touch screen, it was a great format on which to play, no doubt about it. There was an explosion of games in the forms of Apps that could be downloaded for the iPhone. Blackberry didn't have that - they had BBM which is an instant instant messaging service. No delay between the providers. There are advantages and disadvantages to both systems, neither one is better than the other, it depends on what you want your phone to do for you. 

Rogers and Rogers
Going back full circle, has anyone picked up on the market saturation by Rogers. Someday I would like to sit through an hour long television show just to see how many Rogers commercials I would see. The cellphones, television systems, internet connections, sponsorship of special events, publishing and television programming. Now ownership of television stations and programming and home security systems. It is no wonder that they chose to bow out of the video rental market. Quite frankly I tune out most of their commercial simply because I feel overwhelmed by the sheer numbers. Two or three commercials by the same company in quick succession is at least two too many. And most seem a little stupid and condescending "thanks you gorgeous creature". The scene is too fake and contrived. One of their ads though simply boggles my mind - so we will call it ineffective. The one number add, where your cell phone number is used to access all your accounts. Well, in the year 2012, not only do a high percentage of us have cell phones, but it may be our primary or only telephone. More people with access to my home and electronics have my cell phone number than my home phone number. If they have that "One Number" does that mean they too can access all my accounts? How stupid is that? If there is more to the program then that, then Rogers has done a very inadequate job of communicating that with their advertising. And no, I don't really care because I am not a customer of Rogers. And one more thing about Rogers, they would have been smarter to add their name to the Skydome rather than change it to Rogers Centre. It will always be Skydome to most people who aren't paid to refer to it. Rogers Skydome has a better ring to it. 

Pepsi and Coke
But in the best possible scenario these companies can all co-exist and let us, the consumers, make choices on what and where we want to spend our money without feeling like we have made the wrong choice. What I dislike is the general negativity I hear. You like Coke I like Pepsi, but the only time I will force my choice down your throat is if you are in my home. But did you hear the bashing of RIM recently when BBM went down briefly? Did you also hear about the lengths that the company went to in order to apologize to their loyal customers? Now, do you remember when iPhone had a bug in it's alarm? A casual search on the internet will identify that it has happened more than once, with some people complaining of losing jobs over the glitch. All electronics are subject to malfunctions at one time or another, that doesn't make your iPhone better than my Blackberry. Thank you very much. :p

New and Improved! 
I recognize that all companies do it and the more hype you can generate, the better the bottom dollar but it drives me crazy when companies come out with yearly with better and more expensive versions of products. It makes me think that what they put out previously was just junk. Back when the kids were younger, I developed a real sour taste in my mouth with Nintendo and other gaming systems that released new systems every Christmas season - rendering the currently held ones worthless and useless when wanting to purchase new game releases. I have a Sega Genesis gaming system tucked away unable to play anything but the old Pink Panther game that is packed away with it :) 

But wait, this is the premise and marketing strategy of nearly every business in the marketplace. For clothes it is seasonal and we are led to believe that our current wardrobe just won't do - despite the function remains the same. New car models are thrust upon us yearly. But something happened there, it used to be the new models would roll out in the early part of the year on the sticker, now it seems throughout the year new models are unveiled. And whatever make and model you currently own is no longer safe enough or good for the environment. I guess it is what keeps the economy rolling along and us working. But it sure can get frustrating...Brand loyalty only goes as far as the dollar stretches. 

Thank you My Love - a

I And Love And You - The Avett Brothers

Another Valentines Day is upon us a time for those who profess it to go out and prove it. And they do in droves. The one day where men out-shop the women by a margin of 2:1 and the American Greeting Card Industry claims that one quarter of all cards sent are Valentines Day Cards and second only to Christmas in consumerism (money spent). But I would suggest that that is because of the high ticket items that those poor men have been convinced that they have to spend. Once upon a time, a quick trip to the flower store followed by a stop to pick up a card and maybe some chocolates was all it took to make you "Man of the Year". But in the 1980's the diamond and jewelry industry got interested in taking a cut of the love pie, followed by the travel industry and you better have deep pockets. 

But this celebration of love initially started as a sort of free for all sex-fest. Girls would put there name in a jar, the boy who picked their name would be with them for an entire year. Sort of like a trial run before the commitment of marriage, the Catholic church however wasn't too excited and set out to involve the church into it. After 800 years of fun, they wanted both sexes to draw names of Saints that they would emulate for the following 365 days. It wasn't a big hit - no surprises there :)

Today while the Iraq capital of Baghdad has for a day holstered the weapons and hung up the uzi's having embraced the lace and satin teddy bears and nighties while conservative Muslims sit on the opposite street corner frowning at the growing popularity of the pagan festival. Meanwhile, in Indonesia there is push on by Muslim clerics to ban all Valentine Day celebrations. All right, as long as we can revert back to the days of yore...put my name in the pot :)

Croatia has a facility for all the lonely hearts to go an mourn and shed a few tears over the love that was. Along with the wedding dress that was shredded after the divorce, the teddy bear that had his legs ripped off in a fit of anger the axe that assisted in the division of marital property, you can also find other symbol of love gone wrong at this specialized museum. 

Although most people recognize Valentine's Day as just another marketing sham that they feel they are pushed into partaking, it is a good time to evaluate the relationship and perhaps infuse some spice to re-kindle the romance. It can't hurt to have some help remember why you are with your "other" and if it's really where you want to be. Although, I would suggest that Valentines Day is not the best time to break up! You may be giving up your last opportunity in a while for passionate loving. Valentine's Day sex like Birthday sex should be the only mandatory thing about the festivites. 

I wonder though, how long into the relationship should you be before you celebrate Valentines Day as a couple. That could put a lot of pressure on where it may not be ready to hold it. I was talking to one lady who started dating her husband early in the year and expected and got a token of love in February...and every year since for the past 40. She however has never reciprocated because her getting him flowers and chocolate would be redundant. It seems they save the real celebration of love for their anniversary. Aww...

NEWS BULLETIN: It seems that people in love will live longer than those of us happy in singledom. Scientists have found a hormone that helps us to form bonds of love, friendship and trust called Oxytocin is much more prevalent in couples. Oxytocin also gives us the courage to get out there and build social networks that beyond our partner will support us and help us cope with stress. As an added bonus it gets the male all fired up to conquer and plant his seed. Oxytocin should not be confused with the highly addictive and possibly deadly pain reliever OxyContin. Although, to be fair being in a relationship has been proven deadly for some. Think Betty Broderick and OJ Simpson. Maybe unattached and happy can prolong your life? Or someone needs to invent a definitive test to weed out the whack-o's.

If you do find yourself alone and lonely today, head for the nearest big city. It seems that is where you will find the higher concentration of single people. One can speculate that there is so much to do to satisfy the social need that does not necessitate partners, and once attached they head for the burbs to begin procreating. Above all you need to remember that you are no different and no less a person today that you were yesterday or a week ago. It is consumerism that has you feeling down. Consider that all the love that kids feel on this day is mandated. Parents are given a class list - all kids get a Valentine or no one does. I would rather get none than get false hope and fake love. 

What ever stage of life you find yourself in right now, I hope you are happy. Before you can find true love with another you must first truly love yourself. Personally speaking - single and happy beats the crap out of attached and miserable..."Better to have loved and lost then be stuck with a jerk". I remember my girlfriend telling me that more than I remember his hollow I Love You's. 

For the lovers:
Happy Valentines Day!...now get busy! 

For the cynics:

Happy unimaginative, consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance day!